


Holding Back These Feelings

by Jishubunny



Category: SHINee
Genre: Alternate Universe - School, Fluff, M/M, Romance, School
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-21
Updated: 2013-10-21
Packaged: 2017-12-30 01:13:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1012264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jishubunny/pseuds/Jishubunny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At first, Minho just thought of Jinki as a comfortable seatmate so he liked sitting right next to him.  Key is afraid that he'll lose his status as Minho's bestfriend to Jinki.  Jonghyun is in a relationship with Key but Key never told him that he loves him so Jonghyun asks for Jinki's help.  Then maybe there's something more to Jinki than just a comfortable seatmate to Minho.</p>
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	Holding Back These Feelings

Minho liked sitting right next to Jinki because he wasn't like the others.  Jinki doesn't try to start a conversation unless it's necessary.  He doesn't try to touch Minho.  He doesn't try to sit very closely so that their bodies would touch.  He doesn't stare at Minho's face.  He doesn't blush or giggle simply by the fact that they're sitting right next to each other.  He doesn't pull out his cellphone or camera to try to take pictures at Minho.  
  


"People are beginning to think that you like Jinki because you're always sitting right next to him in every class you have with him, in every bus ride or just simply every chance you get to have to be able to sit right beside him."  Key told Minho.  "Do you?"  
  


"He's comfortable.  He doesn't try hard to get my attention.  He's isn't annoying and isn't trying to rape me unlike some.  I like sitting right next to you too."  Minho pointed out.  
  


"Of course like who wouldn't want to sit right next to me?"  Key said haughtily as he flicked his hair.  "But everybody knows we're bestfriends.  You and Jinki on the other hand aren't.  You still didn't answer my question whether you like him or not."  
  


"I like sitting right next to him.  That's all there is to it."  Minho froze when he saw Jinki was actually standing right beside him and staring at him in an expressionless manner.  Then Jinki proceeded to go on his way down the hallway.  "Did you know that he was actually there?"  Minho asked Key.  
  


"It's exactly why I started the conversation about him."  Key replied casually before walking to the opposite direction for his next class.  
  


"Sneaky bitch."  Minho commented behind Key's back before going on his way to his next class.  As soon as he arrived in the classroom, he immediate took the seat right next to Jinki.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  


"I'm not really that much different from the others."  Jinki spoke out making Minho look at him curiously.  "Just like them, I like you too."  
  


Minho was shocked by this confession because Jinki never really showed any sign of liking him.  The teacher came in and started the lesson.  Jinki hated the teacher for a bit because he wanted to hear Minho's answer whether he would be rejected or not.  But he comforted himself by thinking that he'll know later on the bus ride whether Minho would still sit right next to him or not.  
  


Then Minho didn't actually ride the bus.  Jinki thought that's probably the answer.  He already knows that Minho only liked sitting right next to him and didn't really like him.  He shouldn't have bothered to confess after knowing that but Jinki was hoping that maybe Minho was just giving some sort of excuse to Key when they were talking.  
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  


A week passed by before Minho decided to sit right next to Jinki saying "I don't think I can survive another week without sitting right next to you."  
  


"Glad to have you right beside me again."  Jinki replied with a small smile and just like that things went back to normal between the two of them.  
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  


A month passed by.  Key sat right next to Minho in the cafeteria at lunch.  "Don't sit right next to Jinki anymore."  Key said with an angry tone that matched with the angry look on his face.

  
"Why? And where's Jonghyun?"  Minho said, looking around to see if he could spot Jonghyun somewhere.  
  


"I caught him making out with Jinki last night at the club.  Jinki may not look like it but he sure is a slut."  Key stabbed his food with his fork before putting it in his mouth.  
  


"Are you sure?"  Minho asked before Jinki doesn't look like the type to go to clubs.  He looked more like the type who would spend the whole night studying.  
  


"Yes."  
  


"Have you talked to either Jonghyun or Jinki?"  
  


"No.  I refuse to talk to them."  Then suddenly Key placed his fork on the plate and left his seat.  
  


Minho watched as Key walked away then turned his head to see that Jonghyun was taking a seat across him.  "I believe there's some misunderstanding.  What exactly happened last night?"  Minho asked Jonghyun.  
  


"Jinki really looked hot last night.  If you've been there, I'm sure you'd fall for him too."  
  


Minho's eyes widened.  "So you really kissed him?!?!"  
  


"What?! No!!! We were just pretending.  Our lips didn't even touch.  It was only to keep the other guys away from him."  
  


"Well, Key saw it."  
  


"I thought he didn't even show up last night.  Damn!! No wonder he's ignoring me.  I gotta go and explain to him."  Jonghyun forgot about his lunch on the table and stood up to leave only to walk a few steps back to the table.  "Jinki said that if it was you with him instead of me, he would have definitely used the opportunity to kiss you."  Then Jonghyun left.  
  


Minho had already forgotten about Jinki's feelings for him but hearing that from Jonghyun made him remember.  He thought that may be Jinki had moved on or maybe Jinki's confession wasn't exactly serious that maybe he was only testing Minho to see if Minho would still dare to sit right next to him.   
  


"Hey.  I heard about last night."  Minho started the conversation as he sat right next to Jinki in the classroom.  "I didn't think you'd be the type to go clubbing."  
  


"I'm not but last night wasn't the first time and definitely wouldn't be the last either."  
  


Minho was stunned by the answer.  "So you actually dance and drink alcohol?"  
  


"I do those things rarely including smoke and sex."  Then Jinki looked right straight to Minho's eyes.  "You don't look like the type to do those things either but I know you do it rarely just like me."  
  


Minho was even more stunned.  He always chose his clubs wisely.  Clubs he knew that nobody would recognize him.  "How?"  His heart started to beat fast the way Jinki was looking at him.  
  


"I didn't recognize you.  Not until morning."  
  


"Did we...?"  
  


"You must be trying to remember which one of your sex partners I was but sadly, you didn't recognize me so you probably can't remember unless I tell you the details which I'm sure you wouldn't want to hear."  
  


"I don't have any trouble remembering because I only had sex once.  I only went that far once."  Minho retorted a bit angrily because Jinki sounded like he was implying that Minho was a slut.  
  


The teacher arrived, cutting off their conversation completely.  Minho couldn't concentrate on the lesson as he kept on reminiscing what happened that night.  The person in his memories really didn't look like the Jinki who was sitting right next to him.  The person in his memories was really hot and alluring but then again, Jonghyun did mention that Jinki looked really hot in the club last night so maybe Jinki is really capable of being a different person when it comes to clubbing.  
  


They were able to continue their conversation when they were sitting right next to each other in the bus.  "When you slept with me, was it because you liked me?"  Minho asked.  
  


"No.  I only started to get interested in you after that then later on, I became one of those people who are crazy about you.  The only difference between me and them is that I don't express my feelings for you because if I do, you're going to stop sitting right next to me."  
  


"But you confessed to me."  
  


"That was just me being stupid."  
  


Minho didn't know why he found that adorable.  He couldn't stop himself from reaching out and pinching Jinki's cheek lightly.  "Cute."  
  


"Uh... thanks?"  Jinki was absolutely dumbfounded.  
  


"You know you're my first time.  Was I yours?"  Minho thought the question might be too personal but he was really curious.  
  


"No."  
  


"Looks like your the one with multiple sex partners."  Minho said accusingly.  
  


"I only had 2.  You're the second."  Jinki glared at Minho.   
  


"If you say so."  Minho replied with a I-don't-believe-you tone.  
  


"Fine.  Whatever."  Jinki folded his arms and looked away.  
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  


As the days flew by, Minho found himself conversing with Jinki more and more everyday.   
  


"I officially hate Jinki."  Key declared at lunch.  
  


"Did you do something with Jinki again?"  Minho asked Jonghyun.  
  


Jonghyun shook his head vigorously.  "I didn't do anything!!!"  
  


"It's you, Minho!"  Key pointed at Minho with his fork.  
  


"Me?"  Minho blinked.  
  


"You're starting to get close with him.  One day you're going to invite him to have lunch with us and the next thing I know he'll be removing me from my bestfriend status to you."  
  


"Oh.  You don't have to worry about that.  He has a seatmate status to me."  Minho replied casually and continued eating his lunch.  
  


"You sure it's not going to be anything more than that?"  Key asked.  
  


"Maybe but not as a bestfriend."  
  


"What's this?  Minho is finally interested in someone."  Jonghyun said teasingly.  
  


"Maybe."  
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  


"Why did you get off?  This isn't your stop."  Jinki said as he noticed that Minho actually got out of the bus with him.  
  


"I wanted to walk you home."  Minho replied casually with a shrug.  
  


"You're not starting to like me, are you?"  Jinki asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  


"Maybe."  
  


"Or is it probably because you finally know that I was the person you had sex with and wanted to do it again?"  
  


"What?!?! No!!! If you don't want me to walk you home, you should just say so instead of accusing me of such things."   
  


"Sorry."  Jinki apologized when he saw that Minho was getting upset.  He grabbed Minho's hand and placed a kiss on Minho's cheek.  "My house is this way."  He lead the way.  
  


And just like that, Minho was no longer upset.  Since then, Minho always walked Jinki home while holding hands.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  


"Hey, guys.  I hope you don't mind that Jinki is joining us for lunch.  Key, be nice."  Minho warned his bestfriend who was already glaring at Jinki.  
  


"Hi Jinki!!!"  Jonghyun greeted nicely.  They're already good friends since they shared some classes together last year.  
  


"Hi Jonhyun!"  Jinki greeted enthusiastically.  "And.. um.. hi.."  Jinki greeted shyly at Key.  "I don't believe we've met.  I'm Jinki."  He stretched a hand out.  
  


"You should already kmow me.  I'm popular and all."  Key flicked his hair before turning his attention back to the food in front of him.  
  


"Manners, Key."  Minho's warning tone came out again.  
  


Key rolled his eyes.  "I'm Key."  He accepted Jinki's handshake.  
  


"Nice to meet you, Key."  Jinki smiled before taking a seat right next to Minho.  
  


"I knew something like this would happen."  Key grumbled as he ate his food. 

  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  


"Minho!!!"  
  


"Nickhun!!!"  
  


They hugged each other.  Jinki tried to bury his jealousy deep down because he had no right to be jealous.  Nickhun turns out to be Minho and Key's childhood friend and he's really handsome and looks like a foreigner.  It probably has something to do with the fact that he lives in America right now and is currently in an exchange student program in their school.  
  


"I knew about Nickhun but I never knew he would be this handsome.  Damn! What if Key falls in love with him?"  Jonghyun was feeling jealous and insecure.  Since Minho, Key and Nickhun were having some sort of reunion after school, Jonghyun couldn't hitch a ride at Key's car so he had to ride a bus which he ends up sitting right next to Jinki.  
  


"Don't you and Key love each other?  You should trust him and stop feeling insecure."  
  


"I don't really know about that."  
  


"What do you mean?  Aren't you in a relationship?"  
  


"Yeah but he never said he loved me.  He just went like 'Okay, I'll be your boyfriend but don't get any stupid ideas in your head like I'm completely smitten with you.' "  
  


"But he was jealous when you and I were together the other night."  
  


"That actually made me happy because that was the first time he got jealous which got to mean something, right?  Unfortunately, that was also the last time he got jealous.  He doesn't get jealous when I flirt with girls sometimes."  
  


"I guess he only gets jealous of me."  Then an idea clicked in Jinki's mind.  "Do you want to make him jealous again?"  
  


"If you plan to do something like the other night, he'll hate you forever."  Jonghyun said.  
  


"I don't have a problem with that."  Jinki smiled.  
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  


Jinki was a head turner the next day.  Although he wasn't wearing eyeliner or anything leather unlike when he goes to clubs, but he styled his hair differently, wore frameless eyeglasses instead of the usual black frames, his perfume stronger than usual, wore a silver stud on his left ear achieving a look between an innocent and a bad boy.  
  


"Why don't you go to school like this everyday?"  Jonghyun asked in a pleased manner because Jinki was such an eye candy.  Of course, he still loves Key and he wouldn't consider cheating on Key with Jinki no matter how hot Jinki was.  
  


"Being popular is tiresome.  I've seen how Minho had to avoid all of his crazy admirers."  Jinki made sure that they were talking very closely with their voices very soft so it made it look like they were going to kiss.  
  


"What's this?  Cheating on me on broad daylight?"  Key showed up in front of them.  
  


"We were just talking, Key."  Jonghyun replied feeling happy that Key was jealous yet fearing what Key might do to him or to Jinki.  
  


"It sure doesn't look like you were just talking."  This time Key glared at Jinki.  
  


"Afraid I might steal your boyfriend, Key?"  Jinki moved and leaned closer to Key to whisper.  "I think I'm going to make him mine."  
  


Out of anger, Key pushed Jinki hard against the lockers.  His fist raised and ready to hit Jinki but Jonghyun's grabbed Key's wrist to stop it.  "Stop it, Key."  Jonghyun pulled Key away from Jinki.  "Sorry, Jinki.  See you later, okay?"  
  


"You're not seeing him later!!!" Key spat out angrily.  
  


"Come on.  Let's just get to class."  Jonghyun continued to pull Key towards their classroom.  
  


Jinki simply released a relieved sigh when the couple was out of sight.  
  


"Jinki?"  Minho wasn't sure if it was Jinki that he was seeing.  "What happened this time again between you and Jonghyun? It's rare for Key to be angry like that."  He frowned.  
  


"I told him I'm going to make Jonghyun mine."  Jinki could see Minho's shocked expression.  He was going to explain it properly but then, Nickhun arrived with his arm wrapping casually on Minho's waist so Jinki just went his way to class instead.

  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
Lunch time came.  Nickhun joined for lunch but Jinki and Jonghyun weren't anywhere at sight.  "Where are they?"  Minho asked.   
  


"Probably dating somewhere."  Key kept on stabbing his food and not eating it.  
  


Minho didn't want to believe it but from what Jinki said to him this morning, it might really be true.  "You can't be serious."  Minho said, feeling his heart sinking.  Just when he was starting to like Jinki back.  
  


"Jonghyun broke up with me."  Key stopped stabbing his food and simply looked miserable.  It looks like his tears are going to burst out of his eyes any moment now.  "And nobody is supposed to dump me.  I'm the one who dumps them."  
  


Nickhun patted Key's back comfortingly.  "Looks like you really like him, Key.  I've never seen you cry over a guy before."  
  


"I'm not crying! Some sauce just flew into my eyes."  Key said, rubbing his left eye.  "I'm going to the comfort room."  
  


"I bet he's going to the comfort room to cry."  Nickhun said as soon as Key was out of the cafeteria.  "Now, you look very troubled.  What's the problem?"  He asked Minho.  
  


"Jinki said he liked me so I really can't believe that he likes Jonghyun now but this morning he told me that he was going to make Jonghyun his just when I'm starting to like him back."  Minho gave out a long sigh.   
  


"I can't believe my friends are finally falling in love and being dramatic and all."  Nickhun said, earning a half-hearted punch on the arm.  
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  


"Were you serious about what you said this morning?"  Minho asked Jinki when they were sitting right next to each other in the bus.  
  


"Shouldn't you be hanging out with Nickhun?"  Jinki questioned back.  
  


"He's going to his relatives today."  Minho held Jinki's hand lightly so Jinki could just pull back if he wanted to.  It's been a while since they've held hands and Minho missed it.  "Do you still even like me?"  
  


"I don't know."  Jinki replied honestly.  "I've been holding back my feelings for a long time that it doesn't feel like holding back anymore."  He looked at their holding hands.  "It used to excite me whenever we held hands but now it's just comfortable I guess."  
  


"Holding your feelings back and holding hands with me.  I think you've gotten used to it that it doesn't feel hard anymore to hold back your feelings and that it doesn't excite you anymore to hold hands with me.  It just became natural."  
  


Jinki thought that makes sense.  "You explained it perfectly but on the other hand, it could also just simply mean that I don't have feelings for you anymore."  
  


"It's how I feel.  Because I haven't been sure of my feelings for you, I kept on holding it back and holding hands with you also used to make my heart beat so fast but it's not like that anymore.  However..." Minho's hold on Jinki's hand became firmer.  "I missed holding your hand and I still like holding your hand."  
  


"Then I think... we should stop holding back our feelings and start showing it." Jinki suggested hesitantly because there used to be so many things he wanted to do for Minho but he had seen how Minho disliked it when his crazy admirers do it so he decided not to do anything and ironically, that caught Minho's attention and made Minho sit right beside him.  
  


"I think that's a good idea."  Minho didn't waste any time in leaning over and kissing Jinki making them both aware completely of the feelings in between them.  
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  


Key heard his cellphone ringing but didn't bother to pick it up after seeing it was just Minho.  It was only after the ringing that he picked up his cellphone and listened to Minhos' voicemail.

  
"Just letting you know that Jonghyun and Jinki aren't dating because Jinki is officially my boyfriend now.  You need to clear things up with Jonghyun.  I'm sure he still loves you."

  
As in on cue, there was a knock on his door and as Key opened the door, Jonghyun was there at the doorstep.  
  


"I keep telling myself to wait for at least one week before getting back together with you but my feet brought me here and I'm scared that you'll find someone else before the week is over.  I'm sorry about everything."  Jonghyun was feeling nervous.  They fought with each other a few times before.  They always made up when Jonghyun apologizes.  But this time their fight lead to breaking up and Jonghyun isn't sure if apologizing would make Key take him back.  
  


"If you waited for one week to pass by, I might have become crazy enough to apologize, confess or even beg for you to be with me again." Key said, looking away and feeling embarassed with the words the he just said.  
  


"Seriously?  Should I go back out there and pretend this didn't happen and wait for one week to pass by?" Jonghyun was feeling shock and happy at the same time.

  
"No, you idiot."  Key stepped closer to hug Jonghyun.  "I thought you were fed up with me and couldn't handle any more of my bitchiness, overconfidence and vanity."  
  


"Those things can be tiresome but you wouldn't be you without them and I love you."  Jonghyun was surprised to hear a sniff.  "Are you crying?"  
  


"No."  Key's voice was muffled as he pressed his face against Jonghyun's chest which was a wrong move because Jonghyun could feel Key's tears now.  
  


"It's okay, Key.  You can deny all you want.  You can even deny that you love me as long as you don't leave me."  
  


"I love you."  The words were spoken very softly that Key wasn't sure if Jonghyun heard.  He looked up to see Jonghyun's reaction, only to have his lips claimed in a kiss.  
  


"Say it again."  Jonghyun asked, a bit breathless from their kiss.  
  


"I love you."  It was becoming less and less embarrassing for Key every time he says it and maybe he'll say it some more in the future especially since Jonghyun always kisses him with passion after saying those 3 words.  
  


THE END

**Author's Note:**

> It's quite a long fic and it's unedited so forgive me for any mistakes but feel free to point it out~ ^^;; Comment please?
> 
> Fic poster is credited to the artist's name found in the poster. Sorry that Taemin didn't appear in this fic ^^;


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